Emotional distance. Intimacy issues. Infidelity. Shared finances. Work-life balance. Co-parenting, life
transitions. Uncertainty about staying together. These are just a few of the challenges that many couples face.
Speaking up about what matters to you, even if it upsets your partner, is fundamental to intimacy.
But it’s often in these moments of tension that couples find themselves stuck in a cycle of blame, anger, passivity and, eventually, disengagement. A cycle that can leave you both feeling hurt, alone and frustrated. And yet, these patterns seem to repeat themselves over and over again with no real change.
In our work together, I will help you interrupt this damaging cycle. We will slow things down so you
can see what is actually happening. We’ll break down your interactions. Instead of being hijacked by the same emotional reaction again and again, you’ll learn — and practice — effective ways to interact with each other when problems and conflicts arise. You’ll learn to connect with and understand each other on a deeper level. Like anything in life, it takes practice.
Our brains and nervous systems are wired to protect ourselves but at the same time, to connect with others. It’s a constant dance of push-and-pull. When we feel hurt, we immediately look for ways to ease the pain. We attack or pull away. But we also long for intimacy and connection. In our work together, you will learn how to hold onto what matters to you in life —your own unique essence — and, at the same time, maintain a deep connection with one another.
As a licensed couples therapist, I base much of my work on “The Developmental Model,” which integrates Attachment Theory, Differentiation and Neuroscience. This approach goes beyond simply improving communication and problem-solving skills. In our work together, you will learn to handle your feelings and differences on a deeper level through a greater understanding of yourself and your partner.